come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
