my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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