she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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