if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
