she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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