I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize