this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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