they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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