Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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