Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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