so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
