my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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