why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
