she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
