I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
