using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
