i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
