either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
