I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
