living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
