i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
