Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
