Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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