He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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