the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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