watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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