That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
