UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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