youre lurking in front of me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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