Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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