idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Still dying that you shit outside
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
