Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
