Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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