Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
