I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
