i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
