Non-Jews are for practice
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
