he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize