there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
