you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
