he puts the penis in happiness.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
