i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
