Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
