hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
