we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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