$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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