My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
