OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
