I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
