ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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