the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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