He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
