It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
