I heard we made out
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
