What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
