the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
