I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
