what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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