I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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