i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
