dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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