Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
