she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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