Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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