Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize